There was an article somewhere in the news a couple of weeks ago discussing the attempts by the Scottish government to reduce drunken violence. The general suggestion was to implement an aggressive campaign to stop heavy drinking. They’re slowly turning drinking into a social disease, going against the grain of the traditional Scottish pastime and following the path of their more Puritanical (and arguably less fun) brethren Across the Pond.

I suppose this is an okay approach, but I have a better one: how about cracking down on drunken violence?

Example: while I was living in Scotland, there was a violent incident in Edinburgh that had the whole city buzzing. A guy was walking along South Bridge and idly bumped into a drunk dude. He turned to say a brief “excuse me” and the drunk dude and his buddies proceeded to beat the crap of the guy. Weeks in the hospital and thousands of dollars in reconstructive surgery just so he can function properly. And it was ALL CAUGHT ON CAMERA. They stomp on his head. On camera. And what is the punishment for the hooligans? Prison? Noooooooo. The drunk dude is slapped with a steep 500 pound fine, and the other guys are let off the hook.

A savage beating is caught on video, and the perps only have to pay a fine and are free to beat another day.

In Scotland, if you get caught by the police assaulting someone, no matter how severely, you can pay 250 pounds in cash to the officer, who will issue you a ticket, and the crime will simply go away. No arrest, no court, no lawsuit. It won’t even goon your record. So the drunk dude’s mistake was not to leave 250 pounds at the scene of the crime.

So if this is the way Scotland punishes criminals who get drunk and attack people, is drinking the problem, or is the stupid law enforcement the problem? Where is the drunk dude’s motivation to not let his anger run wild and nearly kill someone? How about, Scotland, you start sending violent offenders to jail, or at least tazing them, before you start punishing all drinkers, regardless of violent tendencies...



In other news, I've been watching Rebus, this fabulous British mystery show that takes place in Edinburgh and stars the witless brother from The Mummy (who is most definitely NOT witless in this show). Apparently, in TV Land, Scottish police are notoriously corrupt and hardcore, making the badguys quiver even without guns. It's rather cute.