Edinburgh Two-Step

People in Edinburgh are expert dancers.

The Edinburgh Two-Step starts out easy enough. First, you take two big step forward, briskly and with feeling. Then, you take a quick step to the side (which side is up to your discretion) in order to cut off anybody who may be walking behind you. Then you spread your arms wide and swing them, for maximum area displaced. Then, you look down and quickly side step, shuffle the feet and do a turn to avoid dog poop. Repeat, this time side-stepping to the opposite side. Repeat the previous two steps, getting jiggy with the groove as much as possible, in order to avoid the nest 5 piles of puppy excrement. Do a little stylish turn and Voila! You're doing the Edinburgh Two-Step like a pro!

There is so much dog shit on the sidewalks in this country, that it becomes a mental exercise to simply avoid all of them. Why don't dogs shit in the street????